therearenofriendshipsinuno:

So I got to thinking the other day, why does every FAH story I’ve read always have the crew as an established front? Like where’s the fic where Geoff owes a shitload of money and in order to pay it back he comes up with a plan to rob a casino (or a bank whichever) and he goes to his closest friend Jack for help. And at first she’s like “Fuck dude, you’re one your own” but then she comes around and she’s like “What do you need from me?” And Geoff’s like “Fuck if I know, I’ve never robbed anything before.”

So together, the two of them start doing research and realize they’re going to need a crew. So they start poking around the criminal underground or whatever, trying to find someone willing to help, and they kind of stumble on this two-bit hacker. And Gavin is like “Am I going to get paid? And if yes, when can I start?” So once they agree to pay him (which means they have to steal more money) Gavin uses what little contacts he has to find a sniper (Ray) willing to help. But Ray wants money, too, so they have to steal even more. And then they find a demolitions expert who’s getting bored working at construction sights and wants to expand his horizons, but again Michael wants payment. And then Jack starts thinking she wants to get paid, too, and Geoff’s just like “This plan is a disaster.”

But the heist comes together, and these guys have no idea what they’re doing so they’re mostly winging it, and the day of the heist some masked weirdo shows up out of the blue, just sitting on Geoff’s couch, and Ryan’s like “I heard there’s money involved I want in.”

So Geoff, who is half asleep and doesn’t even want to argue, somehow finds a spot for Ryan and these six idiots who have never robbed a bank head out to do just that and it goes to shit. Because of course it does, and the only reason any of them survive is because two freelance assassins step in and afterward Geoff is like “I suppose you two want to get paid too?” And Lindsay and Jeremy share a glance before shrugging and Lindsay says “A thank you would have been enough, but who the fuck says no to money?”

Basically I really want an amateur thieves FAHC au.