wallacewell-s:

mellowstarscape:

bakvvas:

ghettoinuyasha:

silly-slacker-person:

spectralbarbholland:

apartmentofstabs:

gadgethewolf:

starry-nightengale:

awesomealfry:

doorstoplord:

incendiarysongbird:

safety-officer-barto:

kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd:

bisexualgambit:

jewishdragon:

officialqueer:

safety-officer-barto:

“Salt and Pepper Diner is John Mulaney’s funniest bit” is Xanax/Prostate Exam erasure and I will not stand for it

The overlooking of “The One Thing You Can’t Replace” is a criminal act.

LISTEN, I WAS JUST WATCHING JOHN MULANEY AND I RAISE YOU

HOW COULD YOU NOT SAY DELTA AIRLINES????

Bill Clinton Never Forgets A Bitch, Ever

The responses to this post have been so amazing because it’s reminded me, and I’m sure many others, of just how many hilarious bits John Mulaney has other than s&pd

okay, but eighth graders

….. could be a nursery.

being 12 years old on anotger continent is a great alibi

“Why buy the cow, question mark?”

THAT TALL CHILD LOOKS TERRIBLE

And then. He ordered one black coffee for himself.

And kept driving.

LOOK AT THAT HIGH WAISTED MAN, HE GOT FEMININE HIPS

“We gon play jacks down at the soda fountain”

NOBODY KNOWS WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT YOU IDIOT

Y’know, how you talk to your grandma?

hello? HUSH

Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.

T H E R E  I S  A  H O R S E,   

L O O S E

I N  T H E  

H O S T P I T A L

1. find the carpet that covers the taillight
2. peel back the carpet
3. make a fist
4. punch the taillight out the back of the car, thus creating a hole in the back of the automobile
5. then stick your little hand out and wave to incoming motorists to let then know that

something HINKY is going on.