i’m still PISSED about harry potter leaving draco to die because “oh boo hoo there aren’t enough seats in this minivan someone has to stay behind” like you fool. you fucking fool. i’ve ridden to walmart and back in an 11-person shuttle seating 17 people just bc i didn’t wanna wait to get some skim milk. are you really telling me that you couldn’t put a dude in the trunk for the sake of getting away from a collapsing island? you worried about not having enough seat belts??? people died bc of your poor minivan management skills, harry
i drafted this in a blind rage immediately upon waking up today and i may have misremembered some plot points of the Harry Potter series
Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.
Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.
Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.
Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.
Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.
There are million dollar blockbuster movies that were less entertaining than the rollercoaster this post just took me on.
Do you think the Russian agents were briefed beforehand on what a shithole this website is, or did some poor bastard in Krasnoyarsk get blindsided by their first random anon demanding their opinion on whether or not sexbot yiffing is problematic or empowering
Some sad sack from a troll farm in Smolensk: All right listen up gang. Who can tell me what this means?
*points to a white board with the words ‘big yeet’ written on it, underlined and circled*
What does big yeet mean???
Well Well Well looks like we’ve got ourselves a russian psyop
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