Category: Uncategorized

lesbianshepard:

back in freshman year of high school we had this teacher who was really fucking annoying and HATED cell phones with a fucking passion. at the beginning of the school year he had us sign this goddamned “contract” that we wouldn’t have it in class or he would confiscate it.

so this annoying douchebag kid was on his phone and the teacher went “you have to give it to me now you signed the contract” and the kid didn’t even look up and said “contracts signed by a minor are not legally binding” and continued to text. and i hated that kid but…..dare i say iconic

anyway he got detention for it but i just found out he got into law school this year

bemusedlybespectacled:

spiritednug:

z-nogyrop:

lovelylovelyartist:

theorynoodle:

mezzodical:

one round/action in D&D is 6 seconds so anything you could accomplish during a vine you could do during your turn

Rogue: “I’m back at it again at Krispy Kreme.”

DM: “Roll an acrobatics check.”

Fighter: I want to see my little boy

DM: roll a perception check

*nat 20*

DM: here he comes

bard: toss me my keys

*rolls a 1*

DM: i thought you said printer

Fairy: I still haven’t found my berries

DM: roll a perception check

*rolls a 9*

Fairy: BUT! *holds up an orange* I found this.

Druid: I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand.

DM: Roll an intimidation check.

*nat 20*

DM: Poseidon quivers before him!

Druid: Fuck off!