a stray cat showed up in my garden earlier and i named him todd howard as a joke but now i have to live with this because my stepfather just said “todd howard didnt eat the cat food i left out for him”
“i feel like im forgetting something. did i leave the stove on? no maybe the oven. the iron? the xbox? haha that’s a little joke, i don’t have an xbox. hey mario, do you have an xb–”
“mario???? mega man? y’all good? y’all–”
“ohhhhhhhhh fuuuuuuuuuuck. they’re dead. they’re super dead. what am i going to tell peach. fuck. shit. fuckashit damn. fuck. okay, big notes for next time, samus; do not disassociate midmission. got it. cool. we’ve learned something.”
there’s a goat! why is there a goat!? oh my god! there’s a fucking lama!
PLEASEEE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD UNMUTE THIS HE’S SO PERPLEXED
For anyone who still hasn’t seen the details on this; zoo break out. Those are zoo animals. Which is why they’re so comfortable around humans and the goat came looking for food.
the way it cuts at the end with that grunt of confusion
This piece of unexplained concept art still gives me a bit of a chill sometimes.
I love this piece. something about how the mountains fade into the darkness in the background, how Bill is the light source (but not at the highest peak of the mountain), how this scene is devoid of yellow, how cold it feels—nothing in the series quite resembles what I think this piece gets across.
Shrek makes infinitely more sense if you ascribe to the theory that everyone is a PC in an RPG, and Donkey’s player managed to avoid a boss battle by rolling a nat 20 to seduce the fucking dragon
“I want to be a half-ogre.”
“What? You can’t. They’ve seen your picture, and you’re a human.”
“The ogre half is at night.”
“Ok, now it’s time for the boss fight against Farquaad.”
“I have my dragon girlfriend eat Farquaad.”
“…you what?”
“I have my dragon girlfriend-”
“No, no, I heard you the first time. Look, I’m gonna roll a d20 and if it’s a 20 then the dragon will eat Farquaad.” -dice sounds-
*pinches the bridge of his nose* “Ok, so the boss is fucking dead now.”
By Shrek 2, everything has just gone to shit.
“Okay, so I go in as sexy human Shrek, riding on the shoulder of the giant gingerbread man, and pull down the drawbridge of the castle so I can slip in and crash the fairy god mother’s performance of I Need A Hero. Do I need to roll Endurance to survive boiling milk?”
*DM covers their face with both hands, sobbing* “What the fuck have you assholes done to my campaign!?”
Donkey is the bard who seemingly forgot that their spells require a free hand to cast.
Puss In Boots is the rogue who put all of his points into charisma, probably bribed the DM into letting him be bipedal. Donkey’s player won’t let it go.
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